Wake-up call

I seriously thought that I was going to be able to avoid the depression that most people go through after a trauma such as surgery; nausea, constipation, anxiety, spasms, insomnia, set-backs, hair loss, mood swings, ups and downs, fear, etc. So far I’ve gone through every typical step that people experience post-surgery so I don’t know why I was kidding myself about skipping the depression. Maybe it was because of my wonderful support group?  Finally, to get back to the depression, I have noticed my self getting sadder for the past few weeks. I think that this phase is inevitable since it can be caused by so many reasons such as trauma, anesthesia, medication, etc. The only way to make it out of it is to find coping methods that will keep me on a positive track: writing a journal/blog, joining a support group, online research, socializing/parties, building a network, talking to friends and family, going on dates with my husband, cooking, running errands… ultimately making myself useful and finding my purpose again. The most difficult part is to admit that things are not the way they use to be, not necessarily in a bad way, but that I am changed and it may take longer than I think to get where I think I should be and that it may also never happen. I need to remind myself that I am better today than I was before surgery. Today I have good pain from working hard in physical therapy and getting stronger every day, and not from a pinch sciatic nerve that prevents me from doing my grocery and going to work to contribute to my family. The best solution is probably to set short-term/mid-term/long-term goals so that I can feel a sense of accomplishment. I knew that this would be a long process but it feels worse when you’re in the middle of it and I need to take it one step at the time. I’m going to concentrate on the positive and take it one day at the time!